Here I am, on a plane, going around the world once again. I don’t know how many miles I have put behind me over the last years, and how long I have been travelling, but it feels like an eternity. Always on a quest for the new and exiting. Work has brought me many places. I have met so many people. Seen so many things that I know some people will never get the chance to see or experience.
I am grateful for that.
I have had my ups and downs. There’s no doubt about it. The funny thing is how it all seems to happen at once. Like if some big changes happen at work, there seems to be a lot happening in my personal life as well. I wonder why that is. In the heat of it all, I never have time to reflect upon those things, but sometimes, after things have settled down a bit I begin to realize that this is always true. I wonder if it is some sort of test to see how much I can handle before I loose my senses, or if it’s just a coincidence. God only knows…
Sometimes it is as if the answer to everything is right there in front of me. So close I can almost taste it. Then, before I have time to think, it is ripped away from me in nothing less than a blink of an eye.
Also, sometimes, when everything seems to be going well, when there is nothing but happiness and good things around you, that’s when the troubles seems to come. Just when you think you have found what you were looking for, it is taken from you. I often wonder if this is just because we get too comfortable with things and it’s just life itself trying to tell us to wake up and make a change. After all, change is inevitable. Sometimes you see it coming a mile away, sometimes it’s lurking around the next corner like a lightning strike from clear blue skies.
Sometimes, even the things you trust the most can deceive you. I often trust my instinct. I believe that people are fundamentally good. Most of the time that works well for me. Then again, sometimes I make mistakes that are so big, so big that I can’t even comprehend how I could be so stupid in the first place, when I look back at it. That’s just being human, I guess. People make mistakes. It’s as simple as that.
Lately I have come to a crossroad in my life. I have been at many of these before, but I have always had a sense of direction, or at least an idea of what awaits me down at least on of the roads. This time feels different. So what do I do? Where do I go? Is this when people say they are lost? I don’t know, but it sure feels like it.
What I really know is that I have to choose. Choose a road to walk, a path to take. What I can not do is to stop, if only for a minute. Just to catch my breath, clear my thoughts, focus, then walk on…
I choose to keep moving. It is the only thing that keeps me from falling apart. As I get along, that great suitcase full of memories is with me, and sometimes, I have to stop for a while to get an even bigger suitcase, cos the old one grew too small. There are just too many memories to carry. Some friends come along, some fall behind and vanish into the night. To those who choose to walk with me, I say thanks. Some stick by me, and walk with me through fire if need be. To you guys (and you know who you are) I am eternally grateful. I will not hesitate to walk beside you as well, through the gates of hell, if that’s where the road leads us in the end. I know we’re going to a much better place than that, though.
But for now, I try to focus on the path in front of me, the road just up ahead. I know that what awaits me will only make me stronger. More memories to collect, more friends to make, more accomplishments to achieve. We are all destined to do so. We all have our ambitions. It’s how we rise to the occation and seize those moments, grab those chances that are given to us, that can really make a difference. Not just if we make it or not. I really believe that.
So when we get to the next one of lifes many crossroads, we have more understanding and lots of other stuff in that suitcase of ours to know which path to take. It is our destiny also. For at the end of the day, when the lights go out and the curtain finally closes, we are all just travellers in this great journey called life.